Unfolding our dream-ideal-healthiest-natural body is not the straight line of the masculine. If you get that revelation then so many things will start to make sense in terms of your approach.
It’s a completely different paradigm to the motivational one e.g. eat less, exercise more, which is vague to say the least. How much less? How much more? When you look around you are surrounded by educated, bright, intelligent women who ‘know’ this, but it is not making much difference regardless of intent. So something is up. Motivational only works for so long for a truly feminine woman and much less for a highly feminine-essenced woman.
The masculine approach to ‘healthy eating’ and ‘body transformation’ comes at great cost to the feminine woman – creativity, intuition, expression, receptivity, well all the things we are meant to be taking a hot bath in every day are shoved out of the way in the race to ‘ace’ the end goal. The motivational paradigm suppresses all of these. Women are not ignoring these deliberately, it’s just another jacket of conditioning hanging off our shoulders.
We are all too familiar with these phrases ‘double down’, ‘stay focused’, ‘work harder’, ‘no pain, no gain’. These are all highly masculinised ‘commands’. The questions we need to ask before we start ‘doing’ – ‘Is my process aligned to my true nature, my feminine essence?’, ‘Am I focusing on the right thing?’, ‘Is this the most nourishing, wisest and most fruitful way to approach this?’.
When the feminine is aligned with authentic desire everything is available to unfold it. Not only that, but joyfully, creatively, and organically in trust and surrender i.e. more nature-like and less factory-like.
The feminine approach to ‘weight-loss’, ‘healthy living’ and ‘body transformation’ is a steady layering and de-layering of both the internal and the external. This is the same for all areas of our life.
The feminine way is about experience and expression, not execution. It’s why the masculinised over-doing does not work, or it works until it doesn’t. It’s the same brick wall at the end of the line.
The key is to create an experience, not work the hind legs off a plan. You may even have similar actions in each. But results will differ wildly. One will feel like you got something outside of you and therefore could lose it at anytime, and the other will feel like it came from inside of you and is always available. Only one approach is sustainable for the feminine woman.
Now you might choose to call it a plan, the issue is not with the word, not at all. And planning tools are great – they can be creative supports that help you apportion time in a way that encourages feminine healing and nurture. But if your plan feels more like trying to throw a lasso over the neck of some external goal while trying to drag it towards you, instead of an experience of feeling and activity that unfolds from within you over time and brings with it a sense of joy, delight, growth and fulfilment, as you invest your time, energy and attention toward authentic desire, then Texas, we have a problem (yep, this one is bigger than Houston).
Your plan needs to feel like an experience you could commit to for life. And if that comes as a shock, because you want your goal now, then you are on the conveyor-belt-of-doing. And you feel a shock because we all know we don’t really want to be on it and we are only on it for what we can or will get (fingers crosseth).
When you create a daily experience for yourself that feels great, is aligned with your values and leads to meaningful action, you will happily do it for life. But the truth is results will just keep accumulating as you go along. And your joy is multiplied because they have arisen organically through The Creative Process, sustained by your natural feminine energy. Execution is in service of your natural feminine expression. I give a personal example in my feminine essence goal setting workshop and show you how to create that for yourself.
One of the superpower tools I offer in my work is honest eating. This is not the same as intuitive eating. It’s simply about choosing everything you eat and being present to whatever comes up as a result of that (there is a little bit more to it, but that’s a ‘nutshell’ descriptor). The awareness of your natural essence does the heavy-lifting. I have a basketful of proprietary practices and teachings that I share in Foodhearted that support this layering and de-layering work, which is fun and powerful, kind and fulfilling – unearthing your knowing, discernment, intuition, creativity, expression and receptivity in this area of your life. And because it is the same premise for all areas of your life, it’s an incredibly valuable programme of work.
The opposite of honest eating is recreational eating. You are not consciously choosing and you are not present to anything that arises. And that might lead you down a different path than you wanted to go.
The present moment is the only time to create, the only opportunity to change and the only avenue for choice. So you can see why honest eating is so powerful wherever you are on your journey.
The ‘Honey Crunch Girl’
Once upon a time in years gone by in a land that time forgot (okay not that bit) I walked into a shop to make a quick purchase. I was greeted with ‘Hi, ‘do you want the honey crunch biscuits?’ Hmm pregnant pause that felt like an eternity on my end, probably a couple of secs on theirs. Thought that crossed my mind – ‘Not sure I want to be known as the honey crunch biscuit girl|the woman who comes in for the honey crunch biscuits| you know the one who ONLY buys a packet of honey crunch biscuits’. It had only been two visits, but to be fair it was a small independent store and they probably knew everyone’s shopping list off by heart never mind the single-item-buys.
Anyway that was my top of mind fleeting thinking. But something else happened in that moment of stillness – a deepening. I didn’t want them anymore. I never bought them again. The End.
As you can see you don’t have to have a ‘problem’ to benefit from this practice. I chose my honey crunch biscuits according to my personal criteria (another aspect of honest eating) it was not a mindless action e.g. real ingredients – butter, honey and oats. No seed oils, no hybridised wheat and no overdose of refined sugar.
Results come with unwavering attention to what is. That’s how it works.
Seeing and feeling (noticing with the body) is a feminine skill that allows things to fall in and out of your system – elegantly and effortlessly. It’s simple. And it’s easy if you can stay out of your head, and if you understand the language of the feminine. My process is based on this premise and a few principles. And lots of purging – not the food.
If you would like to learn more about Foodhearted private mentoring, you can catch your cab over here. And if you would like a very non-overwhelming option for self study that is simple, enlightening and experiential, then please knock on the door of the Feminine Food Fiesta, she is very happy to help.